Into the Wild

On Friday, I went to go see Into the Wild. It was only playing at one theater in the Valley, which surprised me, as it seemed like one of the most interesting movies that is out right now. Never-the-less, the theater was right up the road in Scottsdale, so I didn't have to go too far to get there.

Angel was just talking about the story behind the movie a few weeks ago when we were camping up in Prescott, and it intrigued me then when I first heard about it. She had read the book, and had told me all about it before I had even heard about the movie, and when there was an article about the movie in Outside magazine, I knew that I had to see it. The movie (and book by Jon Krakauer before it) is based on a true story about a young man, Christopher McCandless, who grew up in an upper middleclass DC neighborhood, attended Emory University, and then decided that he had had enough of society and material things. So, he gave all of his money to charity and spent the next two years roaming the U.S. working odd jobs on farms, riding in boxcars, hiking trails, and living with hippies. After two years of adventures, he decided that it was time to go off on his own and live in the wilderness of Alaska. He survived 113 days off of a bag of rice, a rifle, and a book of wild edible plants. Unfortunately, the movie has an unhappy ending, but that's not my point here.

My point is I think that many of us have had the dream of going off and living in the wild. I used to think that I was the only one, but after talking to and interacting with fellow adventurers and friends, I have found that my dream is not one of a kind. It's the actual carrying out of that dream that makes people like Chris unique. So many of us get caught up in the rat race that is life that we never pause to focus on our dreams. With jobs, families, and other responsibilities that often take priority, we put off our other passions - giving excuses that time, or money, or some other obstacle stands in the way of our dreams. You have to have a lot of courage in order to step out of that comfort zone that we have been raised in and step into the wild to risk the unknown, to risk failure, maybe even death sometimes. We give a lot of credit to people like Chris who are able to live out their dreams without looking back because so many of us have the desire to do so, but don't have the cajones to do so. It has been said that you don't start growing old until your dreams turn into regrets. Everyone has responsibilities, and most people have dreams, but not everyone has the courage to live out those dreams. That is what makes adventurers a special breed.

Left: Kohl and I with Jo from Rowgirls. Right: Kohl and I with Tara and Iain of Sun Latte.

Ever since I got the call from Simon, the thought of rowing oceans has not left my mind. Dreams are very powerful things, and to be honest, rowing oceans has been on my mind since the day that I picked up Debra Veal's book on that fateful day in London. Yet, my mind has been in a constant struggle... I think about two months to the day until we would be setting off and all of the things that would have to be done in that time frame... renew passport, raise over $20,000, coordinate repainting and refitting of rails in the fours boat in England, coordinate shipping, order food, and not to mention... telling my PI that I'll be gone for a bit after Thanksgiving. Then, I think about being back in the Canaries, laughing in the pub with our fellow rowers, trying to buy supplies in the Spanish hardware stores, fitting the last of the equipment into the boat, finally getting started, the freedom of the ocean, phosphorescence, stars, laughing with your teammate at the eccentricities of life on the ocean, singing in the rain, watching the sun rise out of a gray horizon, and ultimately living your dream.

It's a lot to think about, but it's going to be a tough call no matter what happens. My problem isn't whether I'm following my dreams or not, it's which dream I am going to follow at this point in time. It's my age old paradox... if I'm on the ocean, I'll feel bad about taking so much time off of the PhD and worrying my family. If I'm in the lab, I'll kick myself for the next two years for not trying harder to finish what I started when I had the chance. Sometimes I wish it was just as easy as walking off into the wild, but then again, all of the challenges are just part of the adventure, and I wouldn't have it any other way.